January 11, 2005

1月11日,冰雹


下班的一路上堵了无数辆车,冬雨下下来,所有人都小心翼翼。我看见阴云密布中晴开一块天,不由得惊奇在冬季也能出现如此强烈的对流上升。再往前开了一段,冰雹就开始落下。砸在车窗上,反弹起来很高,硬芯,是冰雹。

当暖湿空气剧烈上升时,遇见空气中的尘埃,就附着在上面形成了无数微小的水珠。它们之间相关碰撞,融合,就形成了雨点。雨点为强劲的上升气流带到高空,就被凝结为冰。小冰珠由于重力的缘故会向下落,但是又被气流吹起。在往复的过程中,沾上越来越多的水,体积也就变得越来越大。当上升气流再也无法托住它的时候,它就落下来,这就是冰雹。

假设在一地的局地对流强到一定程度,落下来的冰雹就能大到相当程度。当冰雹的体积超过乒乓球大小,就足以杀人灭口。当冰雹的体积超过篮球,就足以砸穿楼板,摧毁建筑。在古代,冰雹被归为魔法。西藏一直到现在都有密咒师,他负责消除这样的灾害。而著名的弥巴日拉尊者在年轻时,就曾经用黑咒法呼唤来冰雹,用“门板大小的冰雹”砸死了他的叔父一家老小及所有的牲口。

每一次我读《弥巴日拉尊者传》,看到“门板大冰雹”一句,就会大笑不止。他一定是非常恨刻薄狠毒的叔父叔母,以至于要召唤出门板那么大的冰雹来砸人。因为从杀人的技术角度讲,锅盖大小的冰雹就已经足够把他叔父一家连同建筑都打成狗肉之酱了。门板大的冰雹在杀人的问题上实在是太过于华丽了。

等下车的时候,风住雨停。路边有家哈尔滨饺子店,进去要了二十个。但是这家店只买素菜,没有酱牛肉,这就相当不友善了。北方的肉食中,我最喜欢烧鸡和酱牛肉。一点不带浪费的,满嘴都是纯粹的肉香。在包头的时候,整天吃羊肉,味道虽然不错,但是羊肉极热。每天在电梯里上上下下,经常能遇见一楼桑拿房服务的女孩子。那些女孩子除了按摩什么都会,就是不会按摩。吃多了羊肉,在狭小的电梯间里和这些衣着暴露的女孩子挤在一起,真是件要命的事。我想我不能再吃羊肉了。

后来在海德电脑城的那条街中间,我发现了一家东北烧鸡店。接连好几次路过都看见,人还挺多。最后我提着大包小包,走了两条街,坚持进去看一眼。十二平方米的小店,进去以后是“厂”字型的两面肉案。才进去我就知道来对地方了。烧鸡就不提了,卖相很一般。关键是牛肉,那么小的店里起码谋杀了两整头牛,全做成了酱牛肉。大块大块的牛肉码满了一柜台,每块十公斤上下。什么是天堂?那就是天堂!

我叫老板娘一样切一点我尝尝,进嘴的瞬间,我差点哼出声来。干!太他妈好吃了,和我二十多年前在北方吃过的酱牛肉和烧鸡的味道一模一样。我买了十斤牛肉,两只烧鸡,满意而去。出了门,直扑小卖部,买了两瓶牛栏山二锅头。走在零下十五度的街头,我的心里洋溢着一种类似打虎英雄武二爷的豪迈之情。

看山东电视台版的《水浒传》时,我才小学二年级。这片子我最爱的一段是景阳岗,武松在三碗不过岗小店吃饭。小二上了五斤牛肉,祝延平甩开腮帮子就是一通好吃。最后喝高了,仰了脸,用筷子夹了肉却总也对不准自己的嘴。镜头是无比清晰,能看清楚牛肉的肉丝。在1981年那种还有供应券的饥荒年代,简直是要人小命。

我认定了牛肉最好吃,在我吃下来的牛肉里我认定酱牛肉最好吃,一定要五斤以上。而且,一定要有酒。到现在为止,我都极为欣赏胃口好的人。非常喜欢大家在桌上猛嚼,一时满嘴是菜无话,大家吱晤着从牙缝里灌酒,用眼神表示“干杯”。每次在桌上看见挑食犯、减肥犯、细嚼慢咽饭,老子心头的无名火就腾腾地按捺不住,很想用油手抄起一个盘子,狠狠拍碎在对方脸上。吃饭都不好好吃,你他妈还是个人吗?

回到宾馆,我把一只烧鸡送给同事们。然后关了房间们,挂上请勿打搅的牌子。打开酒瓶,就开始埋头大吃。双手撕开烧鸡,横握鸡腿咬肉的时候,我脑海里浮现出无数个电影里坏人的形象:猪头小队长,胖翻译官。。。。。。打小我就立志当一个坏人,我父亲总是笑得上气不接下气地和人解释:我儿子说因为可以撕鸡腿。

酱牛肉的味道真是一级棒,由于天气冷,连牛油都冻到板结。一嘴咬下去,真对得起牙齿,跟黑巧克力的口感完全一样。牛筋是透明的,被酱油染成古铜色,和牙齿舌头纠缠在一起,像是胶胶糖。简直使人拍案而起,带着满嘴的牛肉沫一声怒喝:爽!

扫完了牛肉和一只烧鸡,喝完了酒,我满意地倒在床上睡了。今天由于没有吃到酱牛肉,我在凌晨1点突然醒转,心里都是委屈和不满。

Posted by 和菜头 at January 11, 2005 02:08 AM
Comments

啊,看你写得这么诱惑,就暗想肯定有委屈。果然,大半夜吃不上肉——对我等肉食者来说,孰可忍,不可忍。

幸好,现在已经是上午了,虽然生物钟错乱了,害我这么早就起来,蛋是,我可以去吃东西了,哈哈哈。。。

Posted by: 阿衡 at January 11, 2005 08:27 AM

摘西游记一段儿共勉:
  这庄村西去三十余里,有一条稀柿衕,每年家熟烂柿子落在路上,将一条夹石胡同,尽皆填满;又被雨露雪霜,经霉过夏,作成一路污秽。这方人家,俗呼为稀屎衕。但刮西风,有一股秽气,就是淘东圊也不似这般恶臭。

  行者笑道:“眼下就要过山,只恐无人管饭。”李老儿道:“长老说那里话!凭你四位担搁多少时,我等俱养得起,怎么说无人管饭!”行者道:“既如此,你们去办得两石米的干饭,再做些蒸饼馍馍来,等我那长嘴和尚吃饱了,变了大猪,拱开旧路,我师父骑在马上,我等扶持着,管情过去了。”
  
  众人道:“有东西!有东西!我们都带得有干粮果品,烧饼馉饳在此。且都拿出来,凭你受用。待变化了,行动之时,我们再着人回去做饭送来。”

八戒满心欢喜,脱了皂直裰,丢了九齿钯,捻着诀,摇身一变,果然变做一个大猪,真个是嘴长毛短半脂膘,自幼山中食药苗。黑面环睛如日月,圆头大耳似芭蕉。修成坚骨同天寿,炼就粗皮比铁牢。齆齆鼻音呱诂叫,喳喳喉响喷喁哮。白蹄四只高千尺,剑鬣长身百丈饶。从见人间肥豕彘,未观今日老猪魈。
  
  孙行者见八戒变得如此,即命那些相送人等,快将干粮等物推攒一处,叫八戒受用。
  
  那呆子不分生熟,一涝食之,却上前拱路。行者吩咐众人回去:“若有情,快早送些饭来与我师弟接力。”那些人有七八百相送随行,多一半有骡马的,飞星回庄做饭;还有三百人步行的,立于山下遥望他行。原来此庄至山,有三十余里,待回取饭来,又三十余里,往回担搁,约有百里之遥,他师徒们已此去得远了。
  
  众人不舍,催趱骡马进胡同,连夜赶至,次日方才赶上,叫道:“取经的老爷,慢行慢行!我等送饭来也!”长老闻言,谢之不尽道:“真是善信之人!”叫八戒住了,再吃些饭食壮神。那呆子拱了两日,正在饥饿之际,那许多人何止有七八石饭食,他也不论米饭、面饭,收积来一涝用之,饱餐一顿,却又上前拱路。

Posted by: at January 11, 2005 07:52 PM

嗨!樓上的,你,你,什么意思啊?
人家只是愛吃一點點牛肉,
你搬來豬八戒的事兒干嗎?
是否只想抄這句,又不好意思?

“等我那长嘴和尚吃饱了,变了大猪,。。。”

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