July 06, 2001

2001年7月6日, 多雲時晴

尤特颱風剛走,天氣雖然沒能大大的放晴,但雲的後面還是透出了陽光的亮度,仍然讓人覺得是個好天氣。左前鎖骨裝人工血管的傷口已經好了很多,早上已經不用害怕起床時的疼痛,而可以一古腦的坐起來。傷口一天好過一天的感覺真是讓人身心愉快。

離第一次注射化療已經第六天了,食慾好得不得了。早上喝完例行的蜂膠,用香噴噴軟綿綿的牛奶吐司,夾著剛煎好的黃金嫩蛋,再夾上一根德國羊膜大香腸,喝一口內含21種豆類(複雜到我也說不清)的溫熱香甜飲品,我開心的像夏天盛開的向日葵一樣, 張著大臉在笑。

近日來一連串的住院、手術,讓我日子都過糊塗了。今天精神好,把朋友們的來信都看了看。心亂給我寄的CD、西藏生死之書,還有他的秋風12夜,上面題了亂亂的字,看起來心的確有些亂。西江月給我寄來了茶人三部曲、約翰克利斯朵夫、路遙全集,我連茶人的第一部都還沒看完。還有peter給我寄來的零點樂話,以及陸幼青的生命留言,如他一貫的手法,沒留下任何署名,讓我猜了老 半天才知道是誰寄的。朋友們的祝福,透過卡片、書信、電子郵件、電話,以最溫柔不打擾我的方式不斷不斷的傳給我。我一邊看,一邊抬頭衝著媽媽傻笑。

陸幼青的死亡日記我看到第85頁。也許是因為社會背景或病情心態的不同,我對他描寫的大部份事物覺得陌生。雖然我欽佩他的勇氣跟毅力,但我覺得他的字裡行間,總有著一股賭氣似的氛圍,我說不明白,但卻能感覺。

明天又是週末了,老公說明天天氣要是晴朗,就帶我去郊外走走。我像個小孩一樣興奮的期待著假日的遠行,忍不住打開窗戶朝天空大喊一聲: 2001年7月7日,一定要晴喔!

Posted by 江映慧 at July 6, 2001 10:07 PM
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